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Caring
for an Alzheimer’s patient is one of the most difficult things you can
do. It involves a lot of energy, time and patience. It can be very
frustrating. People with Alzheimer’s may refuse help from caregivers.
This is a sign that they are actually trying to communicate with you.
Refusal to accept care is a sign that something is missing or not right.
It’s up to the caregiver to assess the situation.
If
your loved one refuses to take her bath or shower, this might be a clue
that something is bothering her. It may be embarrassment. Remember that
your loved one used to do all these things alone before she had
Alzheimer’s and now she has to depend on another person. It is very
frustrating. You may have to limit bath time. Approach the situation one
step at a time in a non-threatening manner. While you help your loved
one undress, use a smooth calming voice. As you bathe her, you can talk
about old memories you used to share. It will make the process more
enjoyable and pleasant for both of you.
If
this does not work and your loved one still resists your help, then you
might need try again later. When people with Alzheimer’s do not like to
bathe, it often stems from fear. Make sure the lighting in the bathroom
is adequate for your loved one to see. If she cannot see well, her fear
will increase. Let the shower or bath run for a while to warm up the
room. It will make it more comfortable. No one likes to undress in a
cold room. If your loved one is using a shower, you might want to put a
chair in it so she can sit down. You can purchase one of those at a
medical supply store or drug store. Use a hand held shower head. This
will take the water up to her level and will be less threatening.
Music
is a good way to help as well. It can be good therapy. Studies have
shown that some Alzheimer’s patients react very well to music. They may
feel less stress. Music can decrease emotions of agitation or aggressive
behavior. You can play soft music; add some fragrance in the bathroom.
It will make it more inviting. You can try to use the same rituals your
loved one used before when taking a bath or a shower. Routine is
extremely important for persons with Alzheimer’s.
If
you feel there is still tension and resistance, you can always choose
another option. You can hire some professional help just for the bathing
time. If you decide to get someone to help you, make sure that person
has experience with Alzheimer’s disease and knows how to handle patients
with dementia. You can hire someone on your own or go through an
agency. They have qualified people and will be able to assist you in
this situation. Sometimes, the individual with dementia will respond
better to a third party rather than a family member. Put yourself in her
shoes, it can be really embarrassing having someone from your family
bathe you. A disinterested, but gentle, third party may help greatly.
The
main thing is to handle bath time in a loving manner. Your loved one
will appreciate it and it will lower her stress level, as well as yours.
William G. Hammond, JD is a nationally
known elder law attorney and founder of The Alzheimer’s Resource
Center. He is a frequent guest on radio and television and has developed
innovative solutions to guide families who have a loved one suffering
from Alzheimer’s. For more information you can visit his website at www.BeatAlzheimers.com.
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