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Being
a caregiver is stressful and difficult. It involves contradictory
feelings, thoughts and frustrations. When you have to care for a loved
one who has Alzheimer’s, you have to be patient, talk with a calm voice
and never “talk down” to your loved one.
Journaling
your thoughts and feelings will definitely help you cope with the
situation. Write in your journal all that comes through your mind and
your heart; nobody but you will read it. It is between you and your
journal. Let your pen guide you through the pages. You may want to do
some extra research on Alzheimer’s disease to better understand the
process and stages your loved one will pass through. If you are a little
bit knowledgeable about the disease, the process of caring will be
easier on both you and your loved one.
You
can keep daily notes on your loved one, such as bathing or eating
changes, whether she becomes agitated, and so on. It can also help you
remember things to discuss with the doctor.
The
good thing about a journal is that it is handy and you can write
whenever you feel like it, day or night. It will never contradict you.
On the contrary, it will aid you in dealing with your internal emotions;
it will relieve your mind and your soul. If you are uncomfortable about
writing, then it may be easier for you to express your feelings by
recording them on a tape recorder. If you like, you can recall some
family gathering you all had together, a camping trip or fishing trip
where your loved one caught a BIGGGGG fish! You can read this part to
him and it might trigger some memory in your loved one…a memory that was
lost to Alzheimer’s.
Journaling
will also help you release the burden of care giving you may have.
Releasing the burden through the pen will definitely ease the pain. But
journaling should not be the only way out for these strong feelings you
have. You may want to enroll in a support group. You can check through
the Alzheimer’s Association if there is such a group in you area.
Speaking to other people will help in getting all these negative
emotions out. And most of the participants are dealing with exactly the
same emotions because they have to care for a loved one who has
dementia. Sometimes, speaking out loud and getting out these feelings
will do you a lot of good and you will feel much better after. You may
even make friends through these groups, friends that will be able to
support you as time goes on.
Remember,
you are not alone. You have friends and family to talk to. Maybe you
can ask a family member to help with your loved one. It will ease the
burden and give you more time to yourself, to journal and to recharge
your batteries.
William G. Hammond, JD is a nationally
known elder law attorney and founder of The Alzheimer’s Resource
Center. He is a frequent guest on radio and television and has developed
innovative solutions to guide families who have a loved one suffering
from Alzheimer’s. For more information you can visit his website at www.BeatAlzheimers.com.
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